ANSIR® Profile: Sage / Empath / Empath
Boss: Empath

The Book Of Roses - Part Two

Alexandra froze, stunned by these three simple words. Who was this other? Why was Grandma thinking of him now? What did the roses mean? All these questions and a flood of others poured through her mind, but none were able to swell to her tongue before the woman began to answer.

"I was 17 when I met him. I can't say he captured my heart at first sight. I didn't even like him when we first met. But we were both young and lonely, and young and lonely hearts have a way of attaching to each other like no others can. We went together for awhile until I did something. I've never told anyone what, and I'm not about to start. Its not important anyway. We ended up breaking apart, and then he did something that almost killed me. He started dating my best friend. Truth be told, I almost deserved it. Almost.

"I remember her telling me to leave. She hated me for hurting him. I think she still does. I didn't like her too much anymore either. She was a spoiled brat, a little girl who had no idea about what she wanted. Of course, he didn't see her as that. No one else did. So I left. I didn't speak to either of them for almost 4 months, and I went on with my life. I had another boyfriend, I made a new best friend, and I was happy. Then I moved. Of course, moving means having to clean out things, and I found his phone number while I sifted through one of my millions of boxes. I was comfortable were I was, and I thought that it would be nice to give him a call to see how he was. Maybe he had even forgiven me. Maybe he'd even want to be my friend again. Who knew what could happen. So I called him. I don't think we'd been talking for more than 10 minutes before I realized that I still loved him. So much for being happy."

She stopped for a moment to laugh the soft, rueful laugh of a cruel joke's victim.

"For the next few months, he led me one a merry-go-round of emotion. He'd want to be with me, then not, then yes, then no, over and over again in a vicious cycle. I was a fool and stayed for the whole ride. I wanted to, almost needed to. As long as I stayed on, there was hope that he'd finally say yes, that he and I would be one. It never happened though. See, he still loved her. That brat who told me to leave before. She played with his heart as much as he played with mine, but he couldn't let go of her, just like I couldn't let go of him. We were both fools, but in the end, he won the game. The girl grew up and realized what he had to offer: all the love and devotion in the world, more than a human being could possibly give. They got married eventually, a year before Jim and I. Before that happened though, I made him a promise. I told him that as long as I loved him, I'd send him a rose every year on the day of love, St. Valentine's day. I was a sap when I was younger."

Another pause, another laugh, and then she looked down, tracing her fingers over the edge of the book.

"I lost track of him after a few years. It couldn't be helped. We were both married and he was in the Army. So I kept the roses here, in this book. Jim knew about it too. He'd even buy the rose for me sometimes. He didn't mind because he knew I loved him. That's why I fell so hard for Jim. He understood me and loved me anyway. But I never lost that first love either. I never stopped loving him, and I never stopped putting roses in this book. I just let him go. That's the greatest call of love: when you give up your own dreams and just let go. It doesn't mean that you stop loving the person or you love them any less. It just means that you don't stand in their way when they try to be happy and leave you behind. Mostly though, it means that you move on and be happy too. In all my life, I've never been able to top that. If you really love someone who doesn't love you back the same way, then be happy without them. If they care about you, then they can be free to make their choices without worrying about hurting you. If they don't, then you show them what they're missing out on and make them regret what they gave up. Either way you're happy and either way you get to live."

The old woman stopped, her tears having subsided into a soft smile. She closed the book and turned her eyes to Alexandra. They shone softly and as she gazed into him, Alexandra knew that nothing had changed. Her grandmother was still that strong woman that she had always known. Even in her tears, she was happy. Alexandra realized that the book of roses hadn't made her grandmother sad. No, far from it, this book served as a reminder to her Grandmother to be strong, to be happy, and to live. A book of roses, each one a symbol of her spirit, each so preserved that the brilliant red beauty from inside remained through time and decay.

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