Personal, provocative, and practical information from real people with real-life stories to tell.

Meet Trudee: She Put Her Big Pants On! Life-Purpose: To change perspectives for human doing and being. Visionary /Healer/ Scintillator Profile boss: Healer

Editor's note: Nearly a year after her story first appeared on the Ansir Website, Trudee is into something new and exciting in her life. To find out what, read her amazing story. She looks out over the Pacific Ocean from her front window and smiles. This is a place where she finally made a stand, and won. From a distance, the blue water seems so calm, but up close, it churns with a fury uncontainable - exactly like she used to be. But the knifing pain in her gut isn't quite as sharp anymore, because she's discovered she isn't a coward. Her name is Trudee, and hers is an amazing story of survival and victory, over self-doubt and reticence.

The oldest of 6 children, Trudee grew up the victim of abuse few can even imagine. She describes her father as a liar, a con man and a drifter. Always one step ahead of creditors and the law, her family never stayed in one place more than a year. She escaped her pain through reading and was tested at college level by the time she was in lst grade.

"I read all the classics at my grandfather's dude ranch when I was 7 years old. I loved to read, and I was good. But we never stayed in any place long enough for anybody to do anything about it."

Tormented by abuse and hardened by years of drifting, she left home and hitchhiked her way across the west at age 17, landing in Phoenix where she lied about her age to get a job as a telephone operator. She began to make friends and enjoy the fruits of staying in one place, but Trudee was homesick for the snow, so she moved back to Washington State. She went to school and studied nursing and did very well professionally for 20 years as an RN in rural hospitals.

But all the while, Trudee agonized over deep feelings of cowardice. "I never felt safe initiating or even being in confrontations," she said. "It was partly due to my father, but mainly because it just hurt so much physically. And if I couldn't clear the air about something, it would fester. I couldn't get things out. I'd get physically sick to my stomach, but the worst thing was the feeling of a ton of bricks on my chest."

"I surmised I was a coward, because I would do almost anything to avoid confrontations. It made me sick, and I hated me."

The situation worsened recently when Trudee and her husband moved to the coast to manage an outdoor recreation club owned by its members. Trudee came face-to-face with a personal nightmare when she discovered that her boss was the personification of her father. "He would say things that were so outrageously rude and off-the-wall that I began to feel myself shutting down, and I knew I was in trouble."

She turned to the Internet and began poring over various self-help tools, including personality tests. That's when she discovered the Ansir website. The Profile Briefs & InDepths™ of her emoting Style of strength, Scintillator, literally changed her life. The words lifted her self-confidence. "There I was in black and white," she said. "I learned that there are many people like me, people who experience real physical pain in a confrontation. It was such a relief, like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I was okay."

Most importantly for Trudee was the revelation that she wasn't a coward.

Brimming with confidence, and in a remarkably un-Trudeelike gesture, she took matters into her own hands regarding her boss and filed a complaint against the man with the board of directors. "I put my big pants on," she said. When the man was later terminated, Trudee was proud. "I went and STARTED something and stuck to it. They listened to me. I didn't explode or crumble into a million pieces."

She says other personality tests have been accurate, but no one explained the physical nature of her problem the way Ansir did. Trudee encourages all of her friends to take the test. "I give them three reasons," she said. "What can it hurt? It's fun. And look out, you might just find yourself."

"It can be scary sometimes, but for me it was 'Ah-ha!'"

The revelation also had a profound impact on her marriage, because it gave both Trudee and her husband ideas on how to deal with conflicts. "I can't begin to tell you how this has strengthened my trust and ability to be open to this man I love dearly. Our marriage has taken on a whole new colour. What was good before is now approaching sublime."

And now that old demons have been scattered, Trudee searches the ocean horizon for what's next.

Great things, we suspect.

To learn what's new in Trudee's life, read her letter below....

Dear Ansir,

It's the busy season here at the campground. Things are going very smoothly, the weather's been delightful, and all the flower beds I planted are rioting with color. Ah, life is good.

Both my husband and I are busy doing a mystery dinner theater. My husband wrote the play and we both act in it. He's "Moneybags Milton", a weaselly accountant for Mama Claire's 1927 Speak Easy. I play "Giggles" a.k.a. "Molly McGuire", a good hearted saloon girl with a shady past. It's great fun, satisifies several innate personality needs, and we even get paid for doing it! It's been very interesting to see the different personality types all come together and attempt to put on a show. We opened to a packed house last Saturday night and it was one of those rare, magical performances, where everything goes off without a hitch and the audience was great.

I've also been elected the Secretary for the Chamber of Commerce. Yet another interesting exercise in identifying personality types. Sometimes I take great glee in figuring someone out and (ahem) manipulating them into getting something done. People have told me the meetings seem to run smoother since I took over my position.

We're both looking forward to a visit from our 3 year old granddaughter in July. Can't wait to take her places and show her things and delight along with her. " To show a child what once delighted you, to find the child's delight added to your own, this is happiness"..J.B.Priestly. I am never happier than when Isabelle and I are together doing fun things.

Wish I could say I've done more since my amazing Ansir revelations, but believe me, I'm a much calmer, more confident, more AWARE person than I was before finding me at Ansir. Thanks so much!!!!!

Trudee

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