Personal, provocative, and practical information from real people with real-life stories to tell.

Meet Robin: Finding A Self To Be Proud Of. Life-Purpose: To protect and preserve human freedom and dignity. Kinsmen / Diligent / Sentinel Profile boss: Sentinel

She laughs about it today, but it was serious when she was young. Growing up in an academic family, mom was a teacher and dad was a college professor, she was an early reader and was drawn to news and current events. She read the paper at age 4 and then there was television news. It was about the time of the first reports of killer bees heading north from Central America. Robin was in Ohio, but that didn't matter. The killer bees were coming and it terrified her. "I thought they were coming to get me. My teachers tried to reassure me, but I knew those bees were coming no matter what they said."

Aside from such "quirky fears," as she calls them, Robin was a bright, curious and precocious child who could lead the class at will. As an only child, her teaching mother gave her plenty of personal attention, and she blossomed early academically. In pre-school, the teachers would let her lead the class, a position she welcomed eagerly. Things began to change in elementary school, however, when the personal attention of her mother was supplanted by a room full of children demanding the same kind of attention from the teacher.

"I began to drift and work only at the things I wanted to work at. I got frustrated with math, so I didn't put in the effort."

The killer bees of doubt and reticence began to invade her life. At age 7, she began keeping a diary, a practice that continues today. "I would lie to the diary by telling it I'd had a great day when it was just the opposite." She rebelled against the big striving nature of her parents and the demands of school. "Except for choir, I was very introverted in high school." It didn't help that she was one of only a few African-Americans in an upscale, white school.

"Out of 130 people graduating, only 3 of us were black."

She questioned everything. At her church, the youth group leaders were perplexed as she pressed for discussions of the book of Revelation and the anti-Christ. Her parents divorced. Mother remarried and moved to St. Louis, and Robin enrolled at Ohio State. The killer bees got closer.

"There were 55,000 students on campus. I was crammed into a dorm room with 4 people and was seriously claustrophobic. I couldn't breathe."

She joined her mother in St. Louis Community college after mom divorced again. Her father passed away, and Robin and her mother moved to Texas. After a year of school in England, Robin settled into the work force handling various positions in a computer support company. As the years went by, Robin grew restless with what she viewed as the disorganized and unstable management. "I needed logical answers, but they couldn't give any."

In May of last year, after 5 years of frustration, she quit. Within weeks, her long-term boyfriend began seeing other women. At age 30, Robin's killer bees had arrived.

"In every area of my life where I felt strongest, the rug had been pulled out from under me."

It forced her to make changes in her life. She decided to go back to school, but first she began an intense period of self-discovery. She searched the Internet for personality tests and found the Ansir site. The test and analysis were eye-opening.

"Ansir is helping me grow by opening me up to new ways of relating and opening me up to pitfalls. The Sentinel side is especially revealing. I'd always known I'd had a problem with emoting, but I never knew why. While I always thought of myself as open, I have to admit that I put up walls for protection."

"I never had closure over my boyfriend. Ansir is helping me get over some of the pain and open up. It's broadened my perspective on how I feel and shown me there are other avenues of protecting myself instead of putting up walls to hide. Also by observing other personalities and how they react, it helps me try other ways of communicating to see if I can get a better response from people. The discussion boards help me see how others react and respond and that is helping a lot."

At school, Robin is majoring in technical writing to become an editor, a position well suited to her personality. But she admits her scientific side is screaming for something to do, so she's open that too. It's an exciting, growing time and one filled with hope.

The killer bees, it seems, have faded far into the distance.

================

EXPERIENCE, ALONE, CHANGES US.

Each person comes to Ansir.com for self-important reasons. What were you seeking when you stumbled in? How have you applied your innate strengths and benefitted? Have you gained greater self-confidence, made a career change, confronted old fears and taken meaningful steps toward self-fulfillment?

If so, we would like to hear from you! E-mail us with a summary of your story. One day, someone will enter the ansir.com portal and benefit from your experience-gained wisdom.

Back to Ansir-In-Action