Personal, provocative, and practical information from real people with real-life stories to tell.

Meet Cyndi Picking Up The Toolbox Life-Purpose: To be happy and to cause happiness. Visionary /Evokateur/ Scintillator Profile boss: Scintillator

"I've learned that though I'm unique, I'm part of a definite breed, and I've gotten a lot of security out of that." Cyndi's voice seems to smile. And rightly so, for she's arrived at mid-life with a core confidence, an attitude of optimism, and a habit of taking responsibility for herself and her life. A successful artist, a partner in a strong marriage, and an asset in the lives of those around her, Cyndi has found her niche in life and is achieving her success and happiness goals. But it hasn't always been this way; she hasn't always had the tools, and the confidence, needed for her level of fulfillment. Raised by an authoritarian mother, Cyndi grew up lacking the confidence to deal with other people in a self-respecting, self-caring manner.

She lost herself in a world of Evokateur creativity, playing imagination games and learning to enjoy her own company best. As she entered adulthood, she continued struggling with self-confidence in her dealings with others.

"I had always been very approachable and found it hard to say no. Everybody came to me with their problems and concerns and I felt obligated to take their burdens on mySelf and deal with them mySelf. I came to a point of realizing that I was becoming an enabler, allowing others to continue to make the same mistakes, using up my inner resources on others. I wasn't taking time for myself, was not prioritizing mySelf.....The biggest mistake I've made is to take on other people's responsibility."

Accepting responsibility for her role in her own self-confidence, Cyndi began developing more confidence and self-assurance. Soon, she would need every ounce of strength and every inner resource she could muster. Abandoned by an adulterous husband, she was left at the age of twenty-two, with three small children to raise alone. Rather than falling into the self-pity, discouragement, and despair that many others in her situation would have indulged, Cyndi found a unique and effective method for keeping determination and resolve at their peak. She used a photo of Holocaust survivors in a death camp as a source of gratitude for her blessings and a method of garnering a big-picture view.

"Whenever I would start feeling sorry for myself or like I was a victim, I would go into my room and get my picture out and set it up. These are the people I would tell my problems to, and then I would realize -- I don't have any problems. I have inconveniences. One person in particular has inspired a lot of poetry, and always seemed to speak to me somehow."

 

While searching the Web for an electronic copy of the photo, Cyndi stumbled across a site that had the name of the man who was such a help to her over the years, the subject of poetry and her source of inspiration to carry on, Joachim.

Through the course of two unhappy marriages and the raising of her three children, Cyndi worked a variety of jobs: clerk, waitress, nursing assistant, secretary, commercial nursery worker and more. Though the trials of her life left had her with strong inner resources, she still found herSelf in need of better tools for understanding herSelf and others. The childhood comfort she learned to derive from her own company became a major factor in her adult careers, always choosing a field where she could set her own hours and work alone.

While in a period of self-exploration, Cyndi turned to the Internet in a search for personality tests. After completing one, she joined a discussion group for those with her same personality designation. Still searching for more, she was curious when members of that group pointed her to the Ansir web site. She took the test, and the results were eye-opening, especially the sections on her Scintillator emoting style. In particular, the information on Scintillators' physical dimension and youthful appearance brought laughter of recognition.

 
"People tend to think that my kids and I are siblings...I don't worry about the aging stuff because so much of it is in how you wear your personality....When I go to church services, I'm always one of the people sitting right in front of the pulpit, so that I can kick my legs and not be a distraction to anyone."

The tools she found in Ansir's 7 Keys have changed Cyndi's life for the better. Her understanding of herSelf and others has grown and changed dramatically, enabling her to be happier and more confident in every area of her life.

"It's helped me deal with everybody better - I now know just not to expect them to behave out of character for who they are, and it's helped me not take it personally that they wouldn't behave the same way I would in that circumstance."

Besides her emoting realm and her relations with others, Cyndi's newfound understanding has helped her find greater confidence in her Evokateur working realm. A few years ago, Cyndi launched an art career that has proved successful in a short period of time. A published poet and mixed-medium artist, she is represented by a gallery in Kentucky and finds an outlet for her rich Evokateur creativity in her work. Her relationship with her husband, who was disabled 10 years ago in an accident, has been another area requiring great fortitude, and one in which her newfound confidence serves her well.

By picking up the toolbox she found on the Ansir Web site, Cyndi has found new comfort, strength, confidence, and acceptance in her life niche as artist, friend, wife, mother, and member of the human family.

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