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Meet Charles Everybody's A Winner! Life-Purpose: To be as good Samaritan and show by kindly example that we are brothers and sisters and responsible as such. Kinsmen /Empath/ Kinsmen Profile boss: Kinsmen

Charles has been psyching himSelf up for sales calls all his life, and today's no exception. But this morning, as his car carries him along the interstate to yet another appointment to sell his company's wares, the weight of possible disappointment isn't quite as heavy. Charles has learned a lesson about himSelf that he now wants to tell others. Win-win was his constant motive. Find a creative way to see that everybody came out a winner. He could anticipate others' thinking, so he'd spend a great deal of effort to craft deals that would suit all. This uncanny ability to work with others could make him highly effective, but it took its toll emotionally. "I've actually sold against my own product if I thought it was in the client's best interest."

Charles is a natural competitor. Growing up in south Florida, his twin brother, Stephen, provided a natural foil for all kinds of sports. And it was practicing against an identical twin that Charles says made him especially good in tennis. "I mean, it was like playing yourself constantly. I couldn't help but get better that way."

"We used to compete to see who would do the chores around the house. One time we played Ping Pong for 3 hours just to see who would cut the grass for 45 minutes." They played horse. They played one-on-one. Charles usually won the racquet sports. He garnered an incredible 12 letters in high school sports, Football, Basketball, Tennis and Track, and was named the local county "Athlete of the year" in 1970. But he was shocked when his name was announced at the banquet.

"I was the most surprised person in the building.
I was sure they would pick my brother."

Such humility is not an act. It's what makes Charles unusual in the world of competitive athletics and today in his world of sales. He's simply a nice guy.

"I did the Eagle Scout thing," he says. Most kids who began the program didn't finish, because scouting gets tough around the time young boys discover young girls. "It seems juvenile at that point," he adds, "but I'd made the commitment and I was always compliant. It's not that I was a geek in high school or anything, I just always tried to do the right thing. I won the good citizenship award all the time in Junior High." 

But the sales world demands a certain ruthlessness, and therein lies a source of stress for this Profiled Emotional because it's unnatural for him to take advantage of conflict. "I deal with hospitals and individual doctors, who don't always agree. And, all of them are used to getting their own way. I get stuck in the middle as peacemaker or negotiator, and usually work things out."

"In dealing with people, I get a feeling. I can tell you ahead of time where the problems are going to be. If there are going to be hurdles, I'll know. I won't have to guess. I'll just know."

In the normally cutthroat world of sales, Charles often felt like a marshmallow. It was self-defeating and stressful. The pressure of making things work out to everybody's advantage took its toll, and Charles began to suffer for it, both emotionally and in his wallet.

"I've actually sold against my own product if I thought it was in the client's best interest."

In searching for relief, Charles came across the Ansir Web site and began exploring his personality. "It took a lot of work," he said, "and some prodding from Darius, but I gradually began to see patterns. The biggest light bulb was in understanding that sometimes I want to be logical and sometimes not. I realized how I have consistently reacted unconfidently even though in most cases, I'm very capable."

"I'd suffered for trying to please others instead of just being me. I've lightened up on myself and don't beat myself up anymore when things can't work out for everybody."

He's also realized that his career doesn't match up very well with his Profiled strengths, and he's considering options. He'd like to go into career counseling someday, where his passion to produce winners would be a better fit.

That's what he does best, and having realized this truth about himself, Charles is now at peace in ways he never knew or felt before.

Of course, on the tennis court, it'll always be different. He'll still happily stomp anybody into the ground, because the rules are different. Only one can win the game of tennis. And Charles is quite content and confident about that too. He's a winner!

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